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July 29, 2014

Is It Time For School Yet???

This past week has been tough. The kids have been fighting a lot, not listening and refusing to do any Summer Reading. It's all wearing on me. I'm exhausted from their late nights, I'm exhausted from getting up early, I'm exhausted from working more, I'm exhausted from being exhausted. I know that I cannot let one week do me in, I need to focus and remember that these moments with my children will be gone, they will grow up and not be little anymore and I will miss it. But God it is so hard!!!! Especially when the very first thing every single morning out of my son's mouth is "Can I have the computer?" NO!!! You can't!! Go read a book, or play with the $100 worth of Legos that I bought so they WON'T ask for the computer or say that they're bored. Yes, it's been that bad of a week. This week is going to be worse because I'm working every single day except Thursday. Great for my paycheck, but tough on my nerves and body. Lifting 30+ pounds of dog food 30 times a day will wear anyone down. I think I need a vacation. Or at least 48 hours of sleep. I'll take either one at this point. When I have weeks like this past week, when I've been up early, cleaning, taking care of pets and kids, then go to work and work my butt off, then go home to my third shift, I'm a wreck. And I swear to God if I hear one more stay-at-home mom say how tough her life is, I will smack her in the face. Toots, you've got it MADE!!! I used to be a stay-at-home Mom, and yes, it was tough, but not nearly as tough as this is.

So yes, today I am looking forward to the first day of school, but that won't last. It's just another bad week and this too shall pass.

Me~

July 17, 2014

Summer = Lazy

I'm lazy, and it's all kid's fault. It's hot out, which makes everything slow, my kids sleep in, I sleep in, all they want to do is cuddle, read books, go to the lake and have movie night every night. They are not making it easy. I had plans this summer, big plans. Day trips, library trips, visiting friends and so on. Most days we aren't even up before 9am. Don't even get me started on Lex. He sleeps so late, that by time he gets up it's lunch time. He likes to stay up and watch MythBusters or Finding Bigfoot or science videos. I get a bit concerned when the first thing he asks me for when he wakes up is dry ice. My little mad scientist. This week I want to take them blueberry picking. Lex loves blueberries!! I buy a container and it's usually gone before we even get home. So I thought I'd take him to pick his own, and lug Lo with us. She is not an outdoors kinda girl. :)

I have started making them do their math work and summer reading in the evenings or first thing in the morning. Lo is doing great with her math! Lex? Not so much. He makes everything way harder than it needs to be. Just like his Mother. I have to admit, I am not looking forward to the new school year. I'm really enjoying our long nights, late mornings and carefree living. Wanna go to the lake? SURE! I want to go catch fireflies? YES!!! Wanna stay in your pjs all day? YOU BET!! I need to win the lottery so I can stay home and homeschool my kids. :D

Me~

July 11, 2014

40......

40. 40. 40! 40!!!!!!!! My birthday is next week, and yes, I will be 40. I feel so.....grown. Almost like I know everything, but I'm still learning. I don't feel "40", and I don't think I look "40", which is a good thing. ;) My kids are super excited for my birthday. Although, at first Lo wasn't so excited. She had asked me how old I was going to be, and when I said 40 she gasped, covered her mouth and walked away. A few minutes later she came to me in tears saying "I don't want you to be 40, it's so close to 100 and you're going to die soon!!". Poor little Lo!!! :( After I explained to her that I was not that old and I wasn't going to die soon, she felt better. I didn't though. I kinda felt really old after that. LOL!! I'm over it now though. The toughest thing about turning 40 is getting my license renewed and probably getting a new picture. I love my picture and I don't want to change it. :/ If that is all I have to worry about, then I guess I'm doing pretty damn good! :D

Me~

June 29, 2014

Summer.......Finally!

I can safely say that Summer is here. The kids are out of school and we are in full "staycation" mode. Lots of lake trips, lego playing, movie nights, grilling, and lots of relaxing. Luckily my kids are at that age where they can play by themselves and don't need constant attention. I bought some Legos for them and that seems to be all they are into lately. Hours at a time. Lex and I built a treehouse together. I was nervous at first because I have mild dyslexia and was afraid I'd screw it up. I didn't. :)


I have to confess that I only built the base, and Lex finished the rest. It still amazes me how smart he is. It took me over an hour just to do the base and he finished the rest in 15 minutes. :) The problem with Legos is that you need a place for all those tiny pieces. Lex, the hoarder, has junk drawers arts & crafts drawers that I decided to use for the Legos, the problem with that? Getting him to clean them out. Not an easy task. I honestly thought it would wake all summer. It didn't. He emptied them out and organized them with his Legos. Lovely. :)

I'm looking forward to a long summer with my littles. It's started out great so far, and I'm hoping it keeps going on that path.

Mom~

June 9, 2014

My 6 Year Old Lo.....

How did this happen so fast?? My baby, my last baby, is 6. That is a huge milestone in our family. She is going into first grade, she's not so little anymore, she's starting to have "grownup" conversations, she's funny, she has many friends now, I'm not the center of her world, but she still can't tell a lie. Her innocence is still there. For now. :) My son has mastered lying, and I hate it. Just thinking about Lo getting one year closer to losing that kind of innocence makes me so sad. So for now I will just love her and hold on to what little bit of baby there is left, which isn't much. She's growing up, and fast!.......






The first thing she said to me on the morning of her birthday was "Don't worry, Mom, I still sound the same even though I'm 6 now!" But looking at these pictures, I see a little lady where my baby used to be. :)

Mom~

May 22, 2014

Spring........And New Beginning.....

Winter is finally over and Spring is here. Sunshine, rain, gardening, way too high grass because our lawnmower needs to be serviced and birds chirping. Lots and lots of birds chirping. I don't know why everyone hates them so much, I love the sounds they make. It reminds me that winter is over!! I could not be happier. I need to be outside, hiking and exploring with Lex, gardening and planting with Lo, and just really enjoying the sunshine. I don't mind the rainy days, it give me a chance to get caught up on all the cleaning and rest. I've been exhausted for the past three months, it's been terrible for my health. Lots of blood loss, three ER visits, multiple procedures to try and fix the problem, and guess what?? Birth control did the trick. My hormones have been so out of whack for the past 5 years no one knew what was going on. I finally found a doctor who was able to fix me. Finally! This Spring started off really rough, but it's going in the right direction now. Never ignore your healthy, people. Never. 

Now that I'm on the mend I have decided to start my photography business back up. When Boss Lady had her baby I was needed at the store almost every day. Little Boss Man is a year old now and she's back to work more and more, so I'll have more time. I've been trying to get my photography groove back by using my kids as models.  Here are some of my favorites.......














I'll have my website up and running soon!!! Very soon! I can't wait to get back into it. :)

Me~

May 5, 2014

I'm Too Young For This.........

I recently became a Grandmother. Yes, yes, I said GRANDmother. The teenager, who is now 18 and thinks she knows everything, had a baby April 19th. Or was it the 20th? I don't know! See? I'm a terrible Grandmother. Anyway. Her name is Myla Jean, aka MJ. I like being a Grandmother. Two reasons......1.) It's not my kid. I don't have to wake up with her, feed her, change stinky diapers or lose sleep. And 2.) It's not my kid. ;) I still get to cuddle her, hold her, love on her and then give her back!!. HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! Here she is.......





EEEEEKKKKK!! Squishy baby goodness!!!! I just love her to pieces. :) Lex and Lo are now Aunt & Uncle. They're in love with her, too. Especially Lex. He loves babies. Lo is a little too worried about her. "WHY ARE YOU NOT FEEDING HER SHE IS CRYYYYYYYING!!!!!!" She was a bit stressed about the crying. After we got home from visiting them Lo said to me...."Mom. I am never ever having kids. It will hurt too bad and I am not ok with that. I am not having kids. Don't ask me to." Fine by me, kid! :) <3

Me~

March 27, 2014

Spring Cleaning......Also Known As Torture

I hate cleaning. It's just so tedious, I have no time for it. Problem is, I'm the only one who really knows how to clean. Todd cleans, he does the litter boxes, dishes, folds the laundry and puts it away, and he straightens up, but he does not know how to clean. I like to spring clean. I open windows, move furniture, get behind the book shelves, I vacuum every inch of my house. Nothing is safe! You may be asking yourself "If this woman hates cleaning so damn much, why does she clean so damn much?" BECAUSE I HAVE TO!!! I was an Army Brat growing up, with a very strict/scary mother. Sunday mornings in our house was torture. Up at 7am, no breakfast till your chores were done. GRAB A TOOTHBRUSH!! And that is how I became this. I can't help myself!!

So it has begun. Spring cleaning in my house always starts with clearing out old toys, clothes and things that are just lingering around with no purpose. And there is a lot of that lingering around here. I blame my hoarding son. I ask that if you have it in you, you should definitely pray for poor Todd. He thinks this weekend is date weekend, it is not. It is SPRING CLEANING WEEKEND!!! Grab a toothbrush, Todd!

Mom~

March 15, 2014

Shhhhh......Winter Is Leaving

I don't want to say this too loud for fear of jinxing us all, but I think winter is finally leaving. The snow piles are getting smaller, the days lingers and the weather warmer. We have survived. Just barely. Lo has had a tough winter. If it wasn't one illness it was another and they were all one right after another. Poor kid. Head and chest cold, stomach virus, fever and then finally, an ear infection. She is much much better now. I bought her some colorful flowers to cheer her up.



Having flowers in the house again made me feel good. I'm looking forward to gardening soon. Hell, I'm looking forward to just being outside again! I think everyone is. So, here's to winter leaving and spring taking over!!

Mom~


March 4, 2014

Fine....Just Don't Call Me Grandma

So my teenager is having a baby. But don't worry, "she's 18 years old and knows what she's doing". -_- She met a boy, fell in love and BAM! That's it, they NEEDED to have a baby. Like, right now. So yeah, they made the choice to do this, and now this is due in April. Actually, her name is Mila Jean. Thankfully they chose a normal name and not something like Brooklyn or some other "lyn" version of a decent name someone decided wasn't good enough. Whatever. She is coming and there is nothing I can do about it. I was pissed when I first found out. I mean I was livid, I was "I never want to see you, that piece of shit boyfriend or that baby" pissed. Oh mouth, listening to anger before brain, haven't I told you about that?? Words that I wish I had spoken just a bit differently. Hey, I have the right to be angry. My teenage daughter, who is bipolar, on heavy meds, who makes very poor decisions all the time, had just gone and gotten pregnant on purpose and she quit school. I mean....what could go wrong???????? Everything. And being her mother, that is what I see.....everything going wrong. But, she is 18, in charge of her own life and self, she has the right to make her own decisions, even the bad ones, and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. So I let go and accepted it, I don't like it, but I have to accept it. Just don't call me grandma.

Mom~

February 12, 2014

I Will Not Buy A Bird......I Will Not Buy A Bird......

I'm buying a bird. It's all Carli's fault over at Twinkling Along!! She started this!! She posted about her adorable, beautiful singer canary and now I need one. I have always had birds. They are easy to care for, small and not very expensive. So why don't I have one already? Todd. -_- Todd is terrified of birds. He is an insurance salesman and frequently travels to customers' houses to help them with claims and such. On one visit he says he was "attacked" by a bird. Whatever. I think one swooped down and startled him and now he's being a baby about it. I've been conditioning him on the idea of us getting one, because we are getting one. ;) Sorry, babe.

Me~

February 5, 2014

Not A Fan Of OPK.......Other People's Kids

I'm just not. I love my kids, my friends' kids, but I draw the line there. Most kids annoy me, not all, but most. You see, I never wanted to have kids of my own, but then the teenager happened, and I liked her. Then I turned 30 and Lex happened, and I liked him, too. Then Lola happened, she's pretty cool, I'll keep her. But other people's kids, well, I'd prefer to not get too close. I don't know why I am this way. I don't mean to be, I just am. I have a terrible time connecting with my bf's kids. Doesn't help that his daughter is terribly jealous of me and acts out every. single. time. she. comes. over! It's exhausting. His son loves me though and gets my sense of humor. Just like his Dad. :) One out of two ain't bad. And honestly, if I can be honest here, I really don't care if she likes me, she doesn't have to. She just has to obey the rules and behave herself while she's at our home. That may seem harsh to some people, but that is just the way I am. I'm not mean to OPK, I just keep my distance. Wow....it just dawned on me that I am going to be a terrible grandmother.

Me~

January 23, 2014

I Am Not A Ginger......

Last weekend my bf took me to San Fran on a business trip. It was wonderful, not long enough and I am still exhausted, but so glad I was able to go. One of my biggest problems before leaving was my hair. I had way too many grays. I needed to fix that and fast, oh, and cheap as well. So I bought a do it yourself dye kit. The ones all the hairdressers scream at. I've been dying my own hair for a long time now. When you're broke, you do what you gotta do. Anyway. Twice now I've bought a color that is very deceiving. It says "Medium Golden Brown!!!!!" Bullshit. It's red. I've made this mistake twice! One would think I'd remember the box by now. Nope! This is the fourth time I've bought it thinking "Oh look at this!! I looooooove medium golden brown! Just like my hairdresser does it!!" -_- Not so much. I look more like a hooker clown who was drunk when she dyed her hair. My bf was all like " I loooooooove the medium golden brown!!! You should totally make that mistake use that color again! You look great!!" He's a not so secret ginger lover. Whatever. I ended up using a different color.....dookie brown, or something like that. Whatever.....my grays were gone and that is all I care about. I do still have the box of ginger sitting in my bathroom. Maybe I'll use it and surprise my man tomorrow night. ;)

Me~

January 22, 2014

Slowing Down.........Going Faster

The holidays are over, the decorations are put away, the kids are still playing happily with the new toys they got for Christmas and my sanity has returned. Kind of. Now I'm in birthday mode. One, two, three birthdays all in the next two months. That's a lot, y'all!! I'm tired just thinking about it. I'm doing low key for Todd's 40th, just family for the teenager's 18th and I'm letting Lex's dad deal with his party. Hey, he gets to claim him on his taxes, HE can pay for it. I got Lo and the teenager. Fair!

I'm thinking about going back to school. I'm done raising babies, they're all in school, so now it's time I focus on myself and our future. I'm excited! Now, if only I knew what I wanted to be when I grow up, I'd be all set! Being a grownup suck.

Me~

December 19, 2013

Christ Almighty!!!

Is the "C" word over yet?? Yes, I'm back to calling it that. I'm spent. I've been working, I've been sick, Lo's been sick, appointment after appointment, up early, to bed late, no money or time for the "C" word presents, I'm freezing and I'm cranky. That's been my month. I was all gung ho before, but now I just want it all to be over with so I can rest. So I don't have to go without the basics, like deodorant, just so I can buy presents for  my kids. You heard me right, I haven't worn deo in weeks!! I also haven't worn makeup either since I had what was probably the worst case of pink eye you've ever seen!!!! I am not even joking......my eye looked just like that. Then there's my teenager's pregnancy. That's right, the teenager is pregnant. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO MEEEEE!!! The best part of that? There is no best part. -_- But don't worry, she's "almost 18 and can totally do this on her own without any help from me". Did I mention I haven't worn deodorant in weeks? So all this sweating is just terrible for me and anyone within a 5 foot radius. And I am sweating!! Todd keeps saying......"We can't raise another baby. We can't raise another baby! WE CAN'T RAISE ANOTHERRRRRR BAYYYYYYBEEEEEE!!!!". I KNOW, TODD!! Just....breath......Nina. Just breath. It can't get any worse, right? While I was sitting on the toilet crying because of all this, and the fact that I stink and look like crap, I felt a great wave of calmness come over me and I swear I heard someone say "let go". And that is what I did, and this is what happened.......

I stopped worrying about the teenager and her pregnancy, it is her pregnancy and it is something she chose, so she can worry about it. Nothing I can do. I stopped worrying about money, and guess what happened? I was offered more hours. I stopped thinking about all the Christmas presents I couldn't buy. Guess what happened then......my sister and her wife dropped off a bag full of toys for the kids. I started feeling good again. Good enough to shower, put on makeup and I even borrowed the boyfriend's deodorant. I may smell like a man, but I look pretty damn good again......for a grandmother. o.O

Me~

December 9, 2013

Getting Into The Christmas Spirit....

It usually takes me a little bit to get into the spirit, but I get there. It's usually around the time we put up our tree.......


We picked out our tree Saturday. Lex and Lo insisted on going back to the same place we've been going to for years. We have limited space so I told them it couldn't be too big, tall is ok though. 



While the kids were with their Dad Saturday night Todd and I put the lights and ribbon on. My Christmas spirit kicked in big time. So looking forward to having all the kids here and seeing them opening their gifts. 


This year I took a different approach to decorating......I just let them do it all. I am such a control freak when it comes to decorating the tree. Everything has to be perfect, color coordinating and spread out just right. It was always stressful for me in the past, but I've recently learned how to let go, and it is glorious!! And I got to take some nice pictures while they decorated......


It was fun to watch them enjoy themselves and decorate the tree. And I swear I didn't move any of the ornaments ;)   ...........






So yeah, I am really getting into the Christmas spirit. :)

Mom~

November 22, 2013

My Kids Torture Me.....

Just look at this mess.......this shit is normal around here. My kids have the best imagination. They like to build, create.....and make messes. This was all made before school at 7am this morning. Before we left for school this is exactly what my son said to me...."Mom, please put plastic over my sculpture....and don't mess with anything! Lola and I need to finish this when we get home" WTF?? Finish what? There's going to be more?? I don't know why I'm so surprised, like I said, this is normal around here. I should be used to it. I hate messes though. Messes and clutter will be the reason I snap one day. I'm going to lose it over a pile of legos laying on the floor. Nowadays going to jail doesn't sound too bad. Three meals a day, sleep, I get to watch tv, maybe take up knitting. Hell! I might even get myself a girlfriend. For now I'm going to go clean up that mess. I'll cover the damn sculpture, but I'm cleaning up the rest!! I'll just say their Dad did it. ;)

Mom~

November 18, 2013

I've Made A Terrible Mistake......

When my oldest was born I was all like...."Yeah yeah yeah.....I got this. I won't talk to her like she's a baby, I won't homeschool her. I won't spoil her. I won't blah blah blah...". Then Lex was born and I was  all like "OH MY GOD HE IS NEVER LEAVING MY SIDE!!!!" See what getting old does to you? It makes you weak! Just terrible. For four years my son was always with me. We did everything together, the park, Chuck-E-Cheese, shopping....everything! He was never away from me. And he was very shy. His Dad and I thought that putting him in preschool would help him come out of his shell. It didn't. Then came Kindergarten and we were so sure that this would be the year he really shined and showed everyone the brilliant child we saw at home every day. It wasn't. First grade......I won't even talk about first grade. It was so bad that I actually contemplated homeschooling him. That is actually what I really wanted to do. I wanted to keep him home, safe, with me. Forever. But I didn't. We were moving to a new town and I thought "One more year. Let's give this school a chance. Maybe it isn't him." and here we are, second grade, a new school and a new teacher. And things are still the same. BUT, his teacher isn't like the others. She has taken the time to actually look deeper, and she has seen what we see every day. She just can't get him to to show it. And do you know why??? Because of me. Me and my "OMG HE IS NEVER LEAVING MY SIDE!!!" I have bottled my son up and he is now only comfortable with us, his family. We are all he knows. He doesn't play sports, he doesn't go to any after school programs, he isn't a part of any groups.....just us. He does not know how to socialize. And here everyone thought the homeschooled kids were the awkward ones who weren't socialized. Nope. Or the kids who some people feel bad for because they do go to after school programs and not straight home to their families. We judge those parents, how dare they not coddle their children?? When in all actuality, they aren't doing anything wrong, they are doing something right. Teaching their children how to be independent, how to rely on themselves. How to make friends. Lex doesn't know how. :( And it is all my fault.

I remember sitting on that tiny chair last Thursday at 8:10pm and saying the words "No, he doesn't have any friends....just....us....OMG THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!!!" His teacher was so nice. She gave me advice on how to help....."get him out of the house". :( FINE! I sat Lex down and said "You know, bud, we are the only ones you ever hang out with, and as much as I hate it, I need to let you go, go out and make new friends", and of course his response was "Oh, Mom. I am so sorry you're having to do this." LOL! Such a sweet little boy.

So that is what I plan on doing. I plan on helping him go out into the world and make friends and show everyone the brilliant, funny, sweet, kind and loving boy that we see every day......even if it does kill me. :)

Mom~

November 11, 2013

Breaking Budget......Because I'm Lazy

Earlier this year I decided I was done with buying detergent. Done, I tell you!! And for almost a year I have been making my own laundry soap. I went through recipe after recipe, Pinterest pin after Pinterest pin, just to find the best recipe, and then I perfected it. It was wonderful! I haven't bought detergent in so long and I've saved so much money. Then it happened. I became overwhelmed with the amount of work I have to do. There's so much to do around here! How does one keep up and still have time to make laundry detergent? How?! So I said "Screw it! I'm buying detergent!" I sent my man out to buy detergent and OMG it felt so good to cheat! All I had to do was rip open the packaging, throw a pod in and walk away. Blissful, I tell ya! And then I sat down and looked at my finances. I try to do this every week, but I just haven't gotten around to it. Or maybe I just didn't want to face the harsh reality that my laundry detergent making vacation was over. I added up how much I've spent on detergent and I almost cried. When you have three kids and two very old dogs, you do a lot of laundry. Every day laundry. Every. Single. Day. I have spent over $40 on detergent in the past 5 weeks. For $15 I can make laundry detergent that will last me almost 8 weeks. -_- This is so unfair. I think someone over at Tide should hire me to blog about how glorious their product is so I don't ever have to buy detergent again, or make it, for that matter! I'm so lazy.

Me~

November 9, 2013

BAM! New Blog Look!!!

Welllll??? What do you think? Am I fancy now or what? All credit goes to the wonderful Julie over at Leelou Blogs who took the time to put this all together for me!! I've used Leelou layouts for years and jumped at the chance to get a beautiful layout at a very reasonable price. They did all the work for me as well, because we all know there is no way I could have done this on my own. ;) I am very very happy, and fancy looking too!! :)

Me~