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October 24, 2014

The Future

Lately Bf has been talking about getting married. We've talked about it before, but nothing serious. Mostly about how we didn't want to get married because both of us didn't have happy first marriages. After getting divorced we were both sorta like "I am NEVER doing THAT again!", but it's been almost three years that we've been together and we're seeing that things are so much different with us. Our relationship is nothing like what mine or his marriage was like. Nothing! We're different. Better. Not saying anything bad about my ex, it's just the way it is. I'm sure he feels the same ways about his current relationship. :)

To be honest, I swore I'd never ever get married again, but now I think I may be changing my mind. Todd hasn't convinced me 100% just yet, but he's wining me over. I am now seeing what a good, stable, relationship is like. He says all the time that he's more married now than he ever was before. Melts my heart. :) He also pointed out that if we got married it would solve the whole last name problem I'm dealing with now, I could have his name. I'm in the process of figuring out what I want to do with my last name. I don't want to keep my ex's name, because well, he's my ex and I don't want it. But my maiden name is not even my real father's last name, so why go back to it? So yeah, we could get married and I take his last name. We'll see. :)

Me~

October 13, 2014

I Let My Kids Eat Crap.......And They're Just Fine

When I was growing up Twinkies were my favorite snack. Go ahead, click on the link. You know you want to. Told ya so. Oh, and Beaker from the Muppets. I loved them both so much!! Then I grew up, became a mom, then the internet came into my life and OH MY GOD THE FOOD I'M GIVING MY KIDS IS KILLING THEM!! I became obsessed. I researched everything, spent way too  much time at the grocery store reading every label, everything they ate was homemade, I watered down Lex's apple juice, which he hated, but his teeth!!! His teeth will rot if I don't water down his juice!! I was a SAHM so I had oodles of time on my hands and used every bit of it to make sure I wasn't going to poison my kids. Then one day about 3 years ago I was at the grocery store with the kids and Lex asked for some God awful snack that had tons of sugar and crap in it, I flat out refused! He looked at me and said "Mom, relax a little. You've got to let us choose what we want every now and then." and that's when it dawned on me.....I was not going to be able to control them, their lives or their choices forever. So I relaxed a little, let them chose their own snacks, and sometimes I let them chose what they want for dinner, even if it's McDonald's.



And guess what? They are alive and well, and very healthy I might add. Also, neither one of them has had a serious illness in a very long time. Don't get me wrong, they still need to eat healthy foods, but they feel like they have a choice now and they actually eat what is on their plates. Lo is into broccoli right now, which makes me super happy. Lex has always been my good eater, he eats almost everything, but right now he likes veggie burgers. One of my favorites. And blueberries. Oh my god the boy loves blueberries.


So yeah, we eat junk food. Am I worried about the crap that's in the junk food? A little, but I'm also afraid they're going to get hit by a car or kidnapped, that doesn't mean I keep them inside, away from the world. I let them enjoy their childhood, and if that means letting them eat a Twinkie, then gosh darn it all I will let them eat that Twinkie!!!! 

Me~

September 30, 2014

I Did What I Said I Wouldn't Do.......

I did it. I bought my son a cell phone. I have a really good reason though!!! We don't have a home phone, so if something happens my kids have no way of getting in touch with me. What could possibly happen?? Their dad watches them while I work, he's almost 50!! Anything could happen!! Ok, not just that, but what if there's a fire? What if they're out with their dad and get separated? What if, god forbid, their dad has a heart attack or gets sick? They need a way to get a hold of me, or the police, or an ambulance. And they had no way of doing that before since we don't have a home phone. So I bought Lex a phone.  He does not take it to school though! Not yet. Well save that for when he's in middle school. Of course, Lola is allowed to use it if she wants to or needs to tell me something absolutely very important. :) It's cute, actually. Lex sends me text messages while he's with his dad, and I respond with kitten pictures. It's great. Somehow though, this has turned into Lex needing deodorant now as well, because, you know, he's now a man with his own phone. ;)

Me~

September 24, 2014

Trying.....Trying So Hard

It's been a very tough few weeks for me. I just can't seem to get ahead. I am walking around in a daze, over sleeping, making my kids late for school and you know, I just don't feel like myself. I had a panic attack last week and the groomer in the shop thought I was having a heart attack. "You know, Nina, 40 is not too young to have a heart attack",  "You're freaking me out, Lynda!!! Go away!!!" I didn't yell that, but I wanted to. So I did some "research", meaning I googled heart attack. Not a heart attack, just a good 'ol fashioned panic attack. Man that was so scary.  I don't like blaming others for my problems, but this is all the teenager's fault. As much as I want to help her, see her succeed, be a great mom to her daughter, I just can't deal with her drama. You see, my life is a drama free zone. I'm 40, not 20, I don't need nor do I want that shit around me. And boy is her life nothing but drama. She feeds off of it. So, as much as it pains me to do this, I am cutting my daughter out of my life until she can get her shit together. I will not drive 45 minutes out there to take her shopping. I will not buy her daughter anymore clothes because her ex-boyfriend is a POS and refuses to give her the baby's clothes. I will not lose one more nights sleep because of her. She has chosen this path, she can walk it alone.

I know what you're thinking...."What a terrible mother! You never turn your back on your child! Ever!" Just shut up. Some times tough love is the best way to go. I'm making her do this on her own. She has got to do it. I refuse to help her. That child has put me through hell the past 5 years and I just won't deal with it anymore. Once it started affecting my health, it's time for me to go. So yeah, I'm leaving her to her own devices. I'm letting her figure it out on her own, because there is only so much I can do. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. I'm done here.

Me~

September 16, 2014

Starting Off The School Year With A BANG!

Turns out that my wonderful, adorable, so well behaved angelic children, are just plain children after all. Noisy, talkative, interrupting children. Both of them have been getting into trouble at school. Lex actually had to call me yesterday to explain what he had done and to let me know his card was now on yellow. They do the card system, start off on green and red means real trouble. Lo has been on red twice now. -_- It's "not her fault though!", she just has to blurt out the answer because the teacher won't pick her. Unbelievable. And Lex? Lex got in trouble because he yelled at a friend who kept telling him to eat paper, and he didn't want to eat paper, so he yelled at her. Yes, HER. A girl. It's starting already. It is way too soon for girls to be going after my son! Hussie's better back off.

Lo. She just can't help herself. She's always right and everyone needs to know it, and she will make sure they do whether they want to or not!! Damn it! We've had a talk about self control and raising our hand when the teacher asks a question. I think she got it. We'll see. In the meantime I'm just going to go sit quietly and watch the show.

The Mom~

September 5, 2014

The First Month Is Always The Hardest

School has started. We have been trying so hard to get back into a routine. It isn't easy, especially when we have to be up and out an hour earlier to drop Lex off at middle school. For now the 3rd graders go to the middle school until the new school is finished, which means school starts at 8 for him, and 9 for Lola. That one hour gap is killing me. I'm still trying to find a schedule that works for us. I'm up at 6am every morning, making coffee, lunches, getting their clothes ready and they're bags all set. Bedtime is tough. On one hand I know they should be in bed by 8, but I like the quiet hour after dinner where we sit and watch something together, or read books, or just hang out. I just can't get them to bed by 9. We're working on it. The first month really is the hardest.

Lex started the 3rd grade and he seems to have grown up on me over the summer. He just....looks older, more mature. I'm loving that he still holds my hand and wants me to walk him to school and I even get a hug and a kiss!! In front of other kids!!!! So awesome. :) I'm so proud of the young man he's becoming.




Lola, my 1st grader!! She's sooooooooo excited about school, and having her very own desk! That was the one thing she really looked forward to. Such a simple thing, but it makes her so happy. She loves her class, she loves her teacher, she loves her desk, she loves that I can now braid her hair like Anna's from Frozen, she loves home lunch, she loves her new friends, she loves when I walk her to school, she loves sleep, she loves SunChips, but most of all, she loves donut fridays!! Every Friday I get donuts for breakfast. I know, I know....not healthy. Whatever. It's fun and they love it! Lola starts dance next week. They have a free class tomorrow and she is super excited about going. I mean super excited. She's been telling everyone about it. It seems like yesterday I was holding a not so little baby in my arms, and now I have a little girl growing into a wonderful young lady. I'm good with that. 


Me~

August 14, 2014

Planning Is Not My Forte......

Neither is organizing, but that is what I'm doing right now. I'm not doing a very good job of it either.....


My littles will be going on an adventure with their dad to visit family in North Carolina, so I'm going through all their "activity bags" (which is A LOT!!!!) and getting a few things together for them to take with them on the long ride down there, and so they have things to do on rainy days or lazy evenings. :) I'll miss them terribly and hate being away from them, so I bought a composition book for them to write about their adventures so I can read all about them when they get home..........


Not only will it give them a sense of doing something together that will make me smile, but it gives them a chance to keep their minds sharp and work on their spelling together. Genius!!! ;) I just hope they do it. O.O

Anyway. I took a brake to make some coffee and gather my thoughts. Back to the giant mess waiting on me to fix it all, to make it all better and put everything in. its. place. Send help, please!!!

Me~

August 13, 2014

Coming To An End.......Very, Very Slowly

Summer is winding down, very, very slowly. We aren't letting go just yet. The kids are still in summer mode, Lex is sleeping late, Lo refuses to get dressed and I'm sleeping as much. as. possible!! Soon our days will start at 6:30am, and end at 8pm. We are not looking forward to it. What I am looking forward to is our schedules returning to normal. All this floating around, being lazy and getting nothing done is driving me a bit nuts. I'm going to enjoy the last bit of it though, soon my kids will be older and want to be with their friends more and more, and will be home less and less.

Lo starts dance class next month. Just once a week to start, but I'm pretty sure that once she gets a taste of it she will want more. I'm pretty sure I'm going to need a second job though. :) She's just so excited to dance dance dance!!!!!!! She dances around the house in her ballet outfit, dances when she should be in bed, and dances till she drives her brother crazy. Oh to be young again. :)



My middle child has grown from a little boy into a BOY. It seemed to happen overnight. All his adult teeth are growing in, he engages us in deep conversations about life, science and all things gaming. He's a very confident young man who isn't afraid to ask for help, and is quick with the pleases and thank yous. He stays up late watching videos on space, sometimes I have to remind him that he cannot stay up till 4 in the morning. He's only 8, not 15 yet. :)



Me~

July 29, 2014

Is It Time For School Yet???

This past week has been tough. The kids have been fighting a lot, not listening and refusing to do any Summer Reading. It's all wearing on me. I'm exhausted from their late nights, I'm exhausted from getting up early, I'm exhausted from working more, I'm exhausted from being exhausted. I know that I cannot let one week do me in, I need to focus and remember that these moments with my children will be gone, they will grow up and not be little anymore and I will miss it. But God it is so hard!!!! Especially when the very first thing every single morning out of my son's mouth is "Can I have the computer?" NO!!! You can't!! Go read a book, or play with the $100 worth of Legos that I bought so they WON'T ask for the computer or say that they're bored. Yes, it's been that bad of a week. This week is going to be worse because I'm working every single day except Thursday. Great for my paycheck, but tough on my nerves and body. Lifting 30+ pounds of dog food 30 times a day will wear anyone down. I think I need a vacation. Or at least 48 hours of sleep. I'll take either one at this point. When I have weeks like this past week, when I've been up early, cleaning, taking care of pets and kids, then go to work and work my butt off, then go home to my third shift, I'm a wreck. And I swear to God if I hear one more stay-at-home mom say how tough her life is, I will smack her in the face. Toots, you've got it MADE!!! I used to be a stay-at-home Mom, and yes, it was tough, but not nearly as tough as this is.

So yes, today I am looking forward to the first day of school, but that won't last. It's just another bad week and this too shall pass.

Me~

July 17, 2014

Summer = Lazy

I'm lazy, and it's all kid's fault. It's hot out, which makes everything slow, my kids sleep in, I sleep in, all they want to do is cuddle, read books, go to the lake and have movie night every night. They are not making it easy. I had plans this summer, big plans. Day trips, library trips, visiting friends and so on. Most days we aren't even up before 9am. Don't even get me started on Lex. He sleeps so late, that by time he gets up it's lunch time. He likes to stay up and watch MythBusters or Finding Bigfoot or science videos. I get a bit concerned when the first thing he asks me for when he wakes up is dry ice. My little mad scientist. This week I want to take them blueberry picking. Lex loves blueberries!! I buy a container and it's usually gone before we even get home. So I thought I'd take him to pick his own, and lug Lo with us. She is not an outdoors kinda girl. :)

I have started making them do their math work and summer reading in the evenings or first thing in the morning. Lo is doing great with her math! Lex? Not so much. He makes everything way harder than it needs to be. Just like his Mother. I have to admit, I am not looking forward to the new school year. I'm really enjoying our long nights, late mornings and carefree living. Wanna go to the lake? SURE! I want to go catch fireflies? YES!!! Wanna stay in your pjs all day? YOU BET!! I need to win the lottery so I can stay home and homeschool my kids. :D

Me~

July 11, 2014

40......

40. 40. 40! 40!!!!!!!! My birthday is next week, and yes, I will be 40. I feel so.....grown. Almost like I know everything, but I'm still learning. I don't feel "40", and I don't think I look "40", which is a good thing. ;) My kids are super excited for my birthday. Although, at first Lo wasn't so excited. She had asked me how old I was going to be, and when I said 40 she gasped, covered her mouth and walked away. A few minutes later she came to me in tears saying "I don't want you to be 40, it's so close to 100 and you're going to die soon!!". Poor little Lo!!! :( After I explained to her that I was not that old and I wasn't going to die soon, she felt better. I didn't though. I kinda felt really old after that. LOL!! I'm over it now though. The toughest thing about turning 40 is getting my license renewed and probably getting a new picture. I love my picture and I don't want to change it. :/ If that is all I have to worry about, then I guess I'm doing pretty damn good! :D

Me~

June 29, 2014

Summer.......Finally!

I can safely say that Summer is here. The kids are out of school and we are in full "staycation" mode. Lots of lake trips, lego playing, movie nights, grilling, and lots of relaxing. Luckily my kids are at that age where they can play by themselves and don't need constant attention. I bought some Legos for them and that seems to be all they are into lately. Hours at a time. Lex and I built a treehouse together. I was nervous at first because I have mild dyslexia and was afraid I'd screw it up. I didn't. :)


I have to confess that I only built the base, and Lex finished the rest. It still amazes me how smart he is. It took me over an hour just to do the base and he finished the rest in 15 minutes. :) The problem with Legos is that you need a place for all those tiny pieces. Lex, the hoarder, has junk drawers arts & crafts drawers that I decided to use for the Legos, the problem with that? Getting him to clean them out. Not an easy task. I honestly thought it would wake all summer. It didn't. He emptied them out and organized them with his Legos. Lovely. :)

I'm looking forward to a long summer with my littles. It's started out great so far, and I'm hoping it keeps going on that path.

Mom~

June 9, 2014

My 6 Year Old Lo.....

How did this happen so fast?? My baby, my last baby, is 6. That is a huge milestone in our family. She is going into first grade, she's not so little anymore, she's starting to have "grownup" conversations, she's funny, she has many friends now, I'm not the center of her world, but she still can't tell a lie. Her innocence is still there. For now. :) My son has mastered lying, and I hate it. Just thinking about Lo getting one year closer to losing that kind of innocence makes me so sad. So for now I will just love her and hold on to what little bit of baby there is left, which isn't much. She's growing up, and fast!.......






The first thing she said to me on the morning of her birthday was "Don't worry, Mom, I still sound the same even though I'm 6 now!" But looking at these pictures, I see a little lady where my baby used to be. :)

Mom~

May 22, 2014

Spring........And New Beginning.....

Winter is finally over and Spring is here. Sunshine, rain, gardening, way too high grass because our lawnmower needs to be serviced and birds chirping. Lots and lots of birds chirping. I don't know why everyone hates them so much, I love the sounds they make. It reminds me that winter is over!! I could not be happier. I need to be outside, hiking and exploring with Lex, gardening and planting with Lo, and just really enjoying the sunshine. I don't mind the rainy days, it give me a chance to get caught up on all the cleaning and rest. I've been exhausted for the past three months, it's been terrible for my health. Lots of blood loss, three ER visits, multiple procedures to try and fix the problem, and guess what?? Birth control did the trick. My hormones have been so out of whack for the past 5 years no one knew what was going on. I finally found a doctor who was able to fix me. Finally! This Spring started off really rough, but it's going in the right direction now. Never ignore your healthy, people. Never. 

Now that I'm on the mend I have decided to start my photography business back up. When Boss Lady had her baby I was needed at the store almost every day. Little Boss Man is a year old now and she's back to work more and more, so I'll have more time. I've been trying to get my photography groove back by using my kids as models.  Here are some of my favorites.......














I'll have my website up and running soon!!! Very soon! I can't wait to get back into it. :)

Me~

May 5, 2014

I'm Too Young For This.........

I recently became a Grandmother. Yes, yes, I said GRANDmother. The teenager, who is now 18 and thinks she knows everything, had a baby April 19th. Or was it the 20th? I don't know! See? I'm a terrible Grandmother. Anyway. Her name is Myla Jean, aka MJ. I like being a Grandmother. Two reasons......1.) It's not my kid. I don't have to wake up with her, feed her, change stinky diapers or lose sleep. And 2.) It's not my kid. ;) I still get to cuddle her, hold her, love on her and then give her back!!. HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! Here she is.......





EEEEEKKKKK!! Squishy baby goodness!!!! I just love her to pieces. :) Lex and Lo are now Aunt & Uncle. They're in love with her, too. Especially Lex. He loves babies. Lo is a little too worried about her. "WHY ARE YOU NOT FEEDING HER SHE IS CRYYYYYYYING!!!!!!" She was a bit stressed about the crying. After we got home from visiting them Lo said to me...."Mom. I am never ever having kids. It will hurt too bad and I am not ok with that. I am not having kids. Don't ask me to." Fine by me, kid! :) <3

Me~

March 27, 2014

Spring Cleaning......Also Known As Torture

I hate cleaning. It's just so tedious, I have no time for it. Problem is, I'm the only one who really knows how to clean. Todd cleans, he does the litter boxes, dishes, folds the laundry and puts it away, and he straightens up, but he does not know how to clean. I like to spring clean. I open windows, move furniture, get behind the book shelves, I vacuum every inch of my house. Nothing is safe! You may be asking yourself "If this woman hates cleaning so damn much, why does she clean so damn much?" BECAUSE I HAVE TO!!! I was an Army Brat growing up, with a very strict/scary mother. Sunday mornings in our house was torture. Up at 7am, no breakfast till your chores were done. GRAB A TOOTHBRUSH!! And that is how I became this. I can't help myself!!

So it has begun. Spring cleaning in my house always starts with clearing out old toys, clothes and things that are just lingering around with no purpose. And there is a lot of that lingering around here. I blame my hoarding son. I ask that if you have it in you, you should definitely pray for poor Todd. He thinks this weekend is date weekend, it is not. It is SPRING CLEANING WEEKEND!!! Grab a toothbrush, Todd!

Mom~

March 15, 2014

Shhhhh......Winter Is Leaving

I don't want to say this too loud for fear of jinxing us all, but I think winter is finally leaving. The snow piles are getting smaller, the days lingers and the weather warmer. We have survived. Just barely. Lo has had a tough winter. If it wasn't one illness it was another and they were all one right after another. Poor kid. Head and chest cold, stomach virus, fever and then finally, an ear infection. She is much much better now. I bought her some colorful flowers to cheer her up.



Having flowers in the house again made me feel good. I'm looking forward to gardening soon. Hell, I'm looking forward to just being outside again! I think everyone is. So, here's to winter leaving and spring taking over!!

Mom~


March 4, 2014

Fine....Just Don't Call Me Grandma

So my teenager is having a baby. But don't worry, "she's 18 years old and knows what she's doing". -_- She met a boy, fell in love and BAM! That's it, they NEEDED to have a baby. Like, right now. So yeah, they made the choice to do this, and now this is due in April. Actually, her name is Mila Jean. Thankfully they chose a normal name and not something like Brooklyn or some other "lyn" version of a decent name someone decided wasn't good enough. Whatever. She is coming and there is nothing I can do about it. I was pissed when I first found out. I mean I was livid, I was "I never want to see you, that piece of shit boyfriend or that baby" pissed. Oh mouth, listening to anger before brain, haven't I told you about that?? Words that I wish I had spoken just a bit differently. Hey, I have the right to be angry. My teenage daughter, who is bipolar, on heavy meds, who makes very poor decisions all the time, had just gone and gotten pregnant on purpose and she quit school. I mean....what could go wrong???????? Everything. And being her mother, that is what I see.....everything going wrong. But, she is 18, in charge of her own life and self, she has the right to make her own decisions, even the bad ones, and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. So I let go and accepted it, I don't like it, but I have to accept it. Just don't call me grandma.

Mom~

February 12, 2014

I Will Not Buy A Bird......I Will Not Buy A Bird......

I'm buying a bird. It's all Carli's fault over at Twinkling Along!! She started this!! She posted about her adorable, beautiful singer canary and now I need one. I have always had birds. They are easy to care for, small and not very expensive. So why don't I have one already? Todd. -_- Todd is terrified of birds. He is an insurance salesman and frequently travels to customers' houses to help them with claims and such. On one visit he says he was "attacked" by a bird. Whatever. I think one swooped down and startled him and now he's being a baby about it. I've been conditioning him on the idea of us getting one, because we are getting one. ;) Sorry, babe.

Me~

February 5, 2014

Not A Fan Of OPK.......Other People's Kids

I'm just not. I love my kids, my friends' kids, but I draw the line there. Most kids annoy me, not all, but most. You see, I never wanted to have kids of my own, but then the teenager happened, and I liked her. Then I turned 30 and Lex happened, and I liked him, too. Then Lola happened, she's pretty cool, I'll keep her. But other people's kids, well, I'd prefer to not get too close. I don't know why I am this way. I don't mean to be, I just am. I have a terrible time connecting with my bf's kids. Doesn't help that his daughter is terribly jealous of me and acts out every. single. time. she. comes. over! It's exhausting. His son loves me though and gets my sense of humor. Just like his Dad. :) One out of two ain't bad. And honestly, if I can be honest here, I really don't care if she likes me, she doesn't have to. She just has to obey the rules and behave herself while she's at our home. That may seem harsh to some people, but that is just the way I am. I'm not mean to OPK, I just keep my distance. Wow....it just dawned on me that I am going to be a terrible grandmother.

Me~